I Hate PVP
I hate PVP.
I have nothing against anyone who likes it. Intellectually, I understand that it can be very exciting, that it gives you a true test of your skills, that only by going up against someone with all the same skills abilities and options you have can you really test the effectiveness of your strategies, and find out which ones truly are the best. What I have against PVP has very little if anything to do with the games themselves, but about how the process makes me feel, and how it relates to my experience of life.
I like being a healer. Supporting everyone around me and doing my best to make sure they have the best chance of succeeding makes me happy.
I also like being a tank. Especially if I know where the danger is, I like running out in front of it and keeping anyone from getting hurt by making sure I get hit first.
DPS doesn’t particularly excite me, but I will play the role if it’s what’s needed. I still try to be aware of what the others need and make sure I’m doing my best not to be a burden to anyone. Most of the time if I’m playing DPS, I’m playing solo. Usually with the ability to heal to back me up and keep me safe. I don’t like being steadily drained, falling further and further without the ability to get back up.
I don’t mind being hurt. As long as there’s a way to recover, any damage is a setback at worst. If an obstacle doesn’t prevent me from playing the game, if there’s ultimately some way to get past it or overcome it, there’s nothing it can do that can get to me.
I always try to improve. I try to be the best I can at everything, understand everything, be able to do anything. If I know something that can help someone else, I want to share it. If other people understand what’s going on better than me, I’m happy to support them. If I understand what’s going on, I’m happy to take all the damage that can be thrown at me so no one else has to get hurt. I want to be the best person I can for everyone around me, so everyone can succeed, and so no one else has to worry about me.
I don’t like PVP. Once I can no longer count on the people around me being on my side, when I have to start considering all the ways they could possibly hurt me, the game stops being fun for me. Just because PVP is possible though, doesn’t mean I have to play by it. I can still be the best person I can. I can choose to do the best I can for everyone around me. I can protect myself by not putting myself in dangerous situations, by not giving people the opportunity to hurt me. If I need to put myself in a dangerous situation to help someone, I can choose to trust them. If I’m wrong, I get hurt, but as we already established, that doesn’t bother me.
So even if I’m in PVP, I don’t PVP. If people want to hurt me, they’re welcome to, though I’d rather they not. If people want to engage in a fair duel where no one really gets hurt, I’m willing to, though the prospect of triumphing over someone else doesn’t excite me. I feel their loss every bit as much as any gain. If the only way for me to win is for someone else to lose, it doesn’t feel like winning to me. A zero sum game is no more exciting to me than zeroes across the board.
So when a game is all PVP, when the only way to win is for others to lose, when the gameplay requires me to constantly be aware of all the myriad ways someone might try to hurt me, and ensure that I’m in a position where even if they try, I’ll still be able to win, I lose interest in the game very quickly.
My goal is for everyone to win. To be the best I can, and help everyone else to be the best they can too. I want everyone to cooperate and lift each other up and gain everything there is to gain. But if the only gain to be had is at others expense, what possible path leads to my goal?
Because it’s not really a win when someone else has to lose.
